Polishing my query, again......

I am polishing up my query in hopes of sending it out later today. There are so many different sites with suggestions on how to write one. I have attempted to follow the honest approach.

What do you think? Would it prompt you to want to read it?

Dear Dream Agent,

In The One, my completed 87,000 word Inspirational Romantic Sci/Fi, God creates two people, meant to be One, and places them on different worlds. He directs the Guardian Angels to bring the man, Seth, to the woman’s world, but neither angels nor humans know if Seth will choose to listen to God in order to find the one created for him.

Seth Locke opens his eyes to find he is no longer in his room, and he is no longer on earth. He has been moved to Arland, a world where the people can see and hear their Guardian Angels. Seth is told he was brought to this new land to fulfill his calling, but that cannot happen until he finds the One woman God created for him. He feels drawn to Lilli, the first woman he meets, but is uncertain if she is his One. That would be too easy! As Seth falls deeper and deeper in love with Lilli, he questions her feelings. Seth works up the courage to ask her if she is available and finds out Lilli has found her One. He assumes it is someone else and runs away demanding his Guardian Asher send him back to Earth. He wakes up on Earth forgetting everything about Arland, but troubled by dreams of a woman named Lilli, he decides to search for her everywhere.

The One is my first novel which I wrote with a goal to reach single women who are between 14 and 25, aiming to give them encouragement and hope in the search for their one.

My resume includes multiple opportunities as a spokesperson and a peer counselor. I have spoken to groups as large as 3,000 people, and have also worked in many churches as a youth director. I enjoy working with people of all ages and encouraging them to live their lives to the fullest.

I am in the process of submitting this query to multiple agents, but would be thrilled if you chose to represent me. I request permission to submit my full manuscript for your review.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.