Just for fun......

QueryTracker.net is celebrating their second Anniversary. Congratulations! I would be lost without the ability to track my queries and find different agents. If you don't know what Query Tracker is click here.

They started a new contest on Thursday that runs until Sunday. It is so much fun!

The challenge was: Write the worst query letter. Break all the rules -on purpose! Haha!

It was fun! Here is what I submitted:

This would be hand written in pencil on a sheet of yellow legal paper.

Hey Agent Dude
I just started riting the best book since Twilite or Hairy Pottr! You have to read it or you will seriously be missing out big time! Imagine Rambo meeting your sister (dude, hope this does never ever happen) Sounds great right! Hey, I know you said you wanted your querries to only be on finished books but mine is so good I knew u wouldn’t mind. Think I could do a series on this? I mean better than Twilite - I never red em but everyone says they are grate!! I just know everyone will love it! Even tho my mom said it sucks, my girlfriend has red the first few pages and says it rocks, but that was b 4 she spilled her beer all over the paper- she does that all the time and I have to start writing my story over. It sucks because I have lost some of my best stuff because she cant figure out how to read and drink at the same time. I mean I can rite and drink and still do other things but she can’t even do this one simple thing. Ok enuf about her. More about me. I am almost 23, 5’7 and weigh 155. My eyes are blue and my hair is kind of brown- The girls love me! I m ripped!! 6 pak and all- u need to know even tho it took me 5 years to finish highschool –ha get it High School! -I still have a great connection there if u are interested.- I know that I am the best riter out there. I mean, how could I not be great? I have started riting a few other books but this one is the best. I can’t wait until everyone sees me famous! You can come to my autographing if you want. Remember the connection I told you about, he can come too, we probably shouldn’t invite my girlfriend, I mean HELLO she ruined my pages imagine her in a book store with lots of paper - better idea!! How bout we do the signing at a music store!!!!! Imagine how many fans will be there well need to hire security to keep me safe. Ill make sure you r safe too- dont wory.
So anyway because you want to represent the best riter ever give me a yell.
John Jones


That was so much fun to write. I'll keep you up to date on the outcome.